California Strawberry Festival - 05/17/14 - 05/18/14

Breakfast or dessert?  (Correct answer:  It doesn't matter.)

California Strawberry Festival

Oxnard, CA

This festival is jam-packed with all sorts of fruity fun, from the Tart Toss to concert performances to the Build Your Own Strawberry Shortcake tent.  Come for the funnel cake, stay for the strawberry beer and strawberry nachos!

If you like strawberries, and LOVE free vacations, the Berry Best Hat Contest is for you.  Submit your sweet creation and you may win a three day, two night stay at your choice of destinations.  Enter your kids in the Berry Best Dressed Baby Contest and compete for photo packages, scholarships, gift certificates and more.  Not too shabby!

Be sure to take advantage of the Strawberry Express shuttle from various Oxnard locations to avoid the traffic jams.  Like that?  Is anybody reading this??

Charles M. Schulz Museum

Charles M. Schulz Museum

Santa Rosa, CA

Step inside the world of Charles Schulz.  Charlie Brown is there with the whole gang, and admission costs peanuts!

Likely Santa Rosa’s most beloved resident, Charles Schulz created a myriad of characters, each of whom personified him in one way or another.  Maybe that’s why his Peanuts strip portrayed emotions running the gamut from joy to despair, and why so many people can relate to the comic which ran for nearly 50 years.

Stroll through the museum and browse through dozens of Schulz’s personal belongings.  You’ll find cases housing early childhood sketches, a picture which earned him a mention in Ripley’s Believe It or Not! and plenty of awards celebrating his achievements as a cartoonist, athlete, and philanthropy.

My favorite part of the museum was the recreation of his artist’s studio.  In an interview, Schulz joked that the simple tools necessary to create the comic strip didn’t result in much of a tax deduction; it just goes to show you that his own creativity was his most valuable asset.

This is where the magic happened!

You can spend the whole day in the Auditorium catching up on Peanuts animated specials and archived interviews with Schulz, then lament in the fact that you can barely write with a fountain pen, let alone draw with one.

Avenue of the Giants

Try this with your oversized SUV so we can all
laugh at you!

Avenue of the Giants
Throughout Humboldt County, CA

Three words:  Big.  Ass.  Trees.

Humboldt County is well-known for a variety of recreational activities, but the most impressive of nature’s gifts to this region is the long stretch of old Highway 101 between Fortuna and Garberville.  You can spend days on end exploring over 30 miles of redwoods, camping, hiking and swimming along the way.

The Avenue of the Giants is a tourist’s paradise.  Visitor centers at either end provide free information and maps for you to plan your trip, and roadside souvenir and snack shacks supply you with the necessary fuel for short or long hikes.  The route is peppered with captivating attractions such as the Immortal Tree, nearly 1,000 years old, which has survived a lightning strike and a flood.  You can tour the Tree House, an actual home built into a live redwood.  Several Drive-Through Trees offer double-pronged forms of entertainment: you’ll giggle as your slowly roll your vehicle through a tree, windows down so you can touch the inside of it like thousands before you; then, you can wince in anticipated failure as too-large SUVs realize they are, indeed, too large to complete the task.

If a quiet afternoon is more your style, seek out the Dyerville Giant, a behemoth at over 350 feet tall, and contemplate whether anyone was around to hear it make a sound when it fell in 1991.

Ironstone Vineyards

This place is barrels of fun!

Ironstone Vineyards

Murphys, CA

It’d be a damn shame to pass through Calaveras County without making a stop at Ironstone Vineyards.  But if picturesque views, tasty eats and historically significant artifacts aren’t your thing, so be it.

Belly up to the bar inside the gorgeous tasting room and learn about its surprising connection to the Brunswick Bowling Ball Company.  Munch on sandwiches, salad and other treats in the Delicatessen while you wait for your free winery tour to begin.

Daily tours leave from the tasting room and are led by knowledgeable guides who will take you through the history of the winery.   Chilly caverns house hundreds of oak barrels containing any number of varieties currently being produced.  You’ll stroll through rich, colorful gardens and park areas perfect for a picnic and see why the Amphitheatre is an obviously popular summer destination for music lovers of all genres.

Before heading to the Alhambra Music Room to view the exquisitely restored Alhambra Theatre pipe organ, or to the Museum to check out a 44-pound gold leaf, linger outside a bit longer.  If you’re lucky, you’ll meet resident miner, Mario, who teaches gold panning techniques.  While he wouldn’t divulge the location of his biggest gold find, you can’t argue that he’s found a pretty choice location for his current gig.

Golden Gate Kennel Club Dog Show - 01/25/14 - 01/26/14

Such discipline!  The dog, too!

Golden Gate Kennel Club Dog Show
Daly City, CA

Well-behaved dogs are fascinating to me, considering mine craps whenever (and wherever) he wants, and will hump any same-sex pooch small enough for him to dominate.

Dog shows like these are proof that a kinship between man and bitch can truly exist.  With more breeds you can count from A (Affenpinschers) to Y (Yorkshire Terriers), you’ll soon be able to distinguish between potential BFFs for your toddlers (Smooth Fox Terrier, perhaps?) and those breeds you may want to reconsider (sorry, English Mastiff).

Highlights of the Show include flyball demonstrations, Best Puppy in Show awards, and the All-Breed Fashion Show, where you’re virtually guaranteed to find at least one dachshund in that dreaded hot dog costume.  Hmmph.

Santa Cruz Fungus Fair - 01/10/14 - 01/12/14

Are you a fungi, too?

Santa Cruz Fungus Fair

Santa Cruz, CA

The Fungus Fair is another one of those unique Santa Cruz traditions like “kissing banana slugs” or “questioning gravity in highly specific wooded areas”.

Attendees will enjoy lectures by prominent mycologists and herbalists, culinary demonstrations and discussions surrounding current developments in mushroom poisonings.  Handy, right?

The fair is sponsored by the Fungus Federation of Santa Cruz, which holds periodic Mushroom Identification Classes perfect for those idiots who like to separate from their groups and traverse the woods alone with no other means of sustenance or a phone with 4G.  Study carefully!

Cornish Christmas - 12/20/13

Santa?

Cornish Christmas
Grass Valley, CA

A good friend and former Grass Valley native used to attend this event each year, which she jokingly dubbed “Corny Crapness” as a result of the disappearance of her favorite vendor, a bacon biscuit stand.

That does sound disappointing, when you think about it.

Never fear, there remain a number of delights to satisfy the palate such a Cornish pasties and miniature pies; if you’ve left your snowsuit at home and find yourself shivering half to death like one particular ponytailed writer, you’ll find no shortage of hot chocolate and apple cider.  Steaming pulled pork sandwiches can be equally effective.

Strolling along Mills and Main Streets may seem like a journey into the past.  Carolers sing in unison dressed in Victorian garb.  Magicians perform tricks with cards and ropes.  A charming character in a top hat roasts chestnuts on an open fire and sings a particular song lyric ad nauseum.  Numerous other vendors peddle scarves, jams and jellies and homemade soaps.  Were it not for the occasional teenager haphazardly running over the elderly, you’d think you’d been transported to a simpler, gentler time.

Don’t forget to spin the wheel at the Towers Casino booth for your chance to win a blackmatch match play coupon.  This is the 21^st century, after all.