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| Toothpicks? Am I supposed to share? |
Santa Barbara, CA
We get it, Santa Barbara. You are awesome. Your people are beautiful, your scenery is breathtaking, and your possibilities for fun and adventure are seemingly limitless.
Must you rub it in with a freaking seafood festival?
I give up. I'll enjoy forkfuls or crab as I stroll along the harbor, watching kayakers soak up the sun. I'll plant my butt in the shade of a tree with a bisected lobster, swathed with clarified butter, wishing that was my houseboat with the golden retriever napping on deck. I'll watch chefs master the art of crab cakes and cioppino, then end the day with a leisurely boat tour, witnessing a spectacular sunset unmatched by anything in Elk Grove.
Is that what you want, Santa Barbara? For me to experience, for one day, a magically delicious event in an ideal climate and picturesque setting? With free admission? Okay, if you insist.
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