Original Farmers Market

Reason #34,917 to ditch work in LA

Original Farmers Market
Los Angeles, CA

The Original Farmers Market has some of the best people-watching. Granted, there are plenty of prime locations for that activity around Los Angeles, so let me clarify by saying that this setting is a bit more...sophisticated, if you will.  You'll find shoppers with insatiable palates who appreciate the craft that goes into making homemade toffee. They know there's a world of difference between ice cream and gelato. Here, there is no one around dressed as Spiderman or Spongebob milking kids' parents over photo opportunities.

Early arrival affords you the chance to watch vendors prep their stalls and witness eager shoppers and diners jockeying for first position at these stalls.  Locals arrive with two hand carts to fill with fresh produce and other groceries.  Casual shoppers may make several trips around the market, coffee in hand, before deciding between crab benedict, crepes or huevos rancheros.

Not an early bird?  No problem.  The market will be buzzing with activity no matter what time you choose to roll your lazy ass out of bed. If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, however, leave the attitude at home unless you want to learn new curse words in any of the two dozen languages spoken by vendors and customers each day.  Puta ka!

Quicksilver Ranch

Yes, I'm aware of how cute I am.

Quicksilver Ranch
Solvang, CA

Some things are just more adorable in miniature, such as donuts, golf...and mental breakdowns.

Horses are no exception to this rule.  Quicksilver Ranch owners Aleck and Louise Stribling have been breeding miniatures since the early 80s, and they welcome travelers from all over the world to visit their expansive ranch to experience these creatures in their beautiful, tranquil environment.

Should your kid pull a Veruca Salt and insist on taking one home, you'll be delighted to find that many minis are indeed up for sale.

Guess what else can be found in miniature?  This article.

The 31st Annual Clam Chowder Cook Off & Festival - 02/25/12

Soup's on!

The 31st Annual Clam Chowder Cook Off & Festival
Santa Cruz, CA

A bit of genius was used when creating the Schedule of Events for this annual fundraiser benefiting the City of Santa Cruz Parks and Recreation Department.  Public tastings don't begin until 1:00pm, which gives chowder heads plenty of time to enjoy the Giant Dipper and Double Shot boardwalk rides prior to having lunch.  Enjoy those activities in reverse and...well, I think you have an idea of what might happen.

A mere $9 gets you a Tasting Kit which includes a bowl and spoon (naturally) as well as five tasting tickets and two People's Choice ballots. Vote for your favorite Boston and Manhattan chowders as contestants are eligible for round-trip airline tickets as well as cash prizes.

Join in the fun by bringing your camera and taking pictures with costumed participants.  Track down the "Clam Fairy" and your weekend will be complete!  Let's hope that one's a female.

Make-A-Wish Foundation and Morton's the Steakhouse Texas Hold'em Tournament - 02/25/12

Poker in the rear!

Make-A-Wish Foundation and Morton's The Steakhouse Texas Hold'em Tournament

Sacramento, CA

Poker is fun.  Eating is even more enjoyable.  Combine that with a fantastic cause, and you've got a great little excuse to choose gaming over whatever baby shower/dental work/babysitting gig you're trying to avoid that day ("Come on, it's for the KIDS!").

Capitol Casino will transform the restaurant into the tournament room for one day only. Your individual entry fee secures your seat in the tournament while you nosh on Morton's signature cuisine and drinks.  Silent auction items include Android tablets, keg parties, and handgun training...everything you need to impress the ladies.

Entertainment will also be provided by the tournament player who goes out on the bubble after getting his aces cracked by 10-4 offsuit.  Sweet!

Cloverdale Citrus Fair - 02/17/12 - 02/20/12

Orange you glad you live in California?

Cloverdale Citrus Fair
Cloverdale, CA

The Cloverdale Citrus Festival is a truly old-school event.  Seriously.  It's been around for over 100 years!

This festival includes all of the classics: Carnival of Chaos, Pygmy Goat Shows, gourmet food, and bands and dance teams for entertainment.  Other big draws include the orange juice-off and breathtaking three-dimensional exhibits made almost completely out of citrus, as well as the annual crowning of the Citrus Fair Queen who earns her title based on poise, judges' interviews and talent.

The ancient Romans used lemons to keep moths from eating their clothing; be sure to stock up before your next toga party!

Riverside County Fair & National Date Festival - 02/17/12 - 02/26/12

I like my dates like I like my men: wrapped in bacon and
speared with a toothpick.  Um, what?

Riverside County Fair & National Date Festival
Indio, CA

If only all of us took our dates this seriously.

I'm referring to the fruit, of course.  Festival-goers will find that the whole shebang begins with the Opening Ceremony and Blessing of the Dates. Fancy!

Other scheduled events include the Grand Parade, obligatory demolition derby and monster truck rally, and the SuperFiesta featuring lots of Latin bands whose names I wouldn't dare to pronounce.

As an added bonus, watching the daily Camel and Ostrich Races is free with admission.  If you just yawned and claimed you've seen THOSE a million times, you're a liar!