Blue Diamond Nut & Gift Shop

Grabbing cans and nuts has never been so cheap!

Blue Diamond Nut & Gift Shop
Sacramento, CA

This place is nuts...literally!

The California almond industry grew from a loose network of growers and shippers 100 years ago into a powerful cooperative responsible for producing more than 80 percent of the world's almond supply.  Almonds are currently California's largest food export.

A mecca for almond fans, this shop offers the entire line of Blue Diamond products at discounted prices.  If you're not into their iconic Smokehouse Almonds, you can choose from Nut Chips, Almond Butter, Almond Breeze or a variety of Oven Roasted Nuts (FYI - the Dark Chocolate Nuts are amazing).

Assemble a basket for gift-giving, or grab all the nut sacks you want for your own enjoyment.  That's right, I said it.

SF Chefs 2012 - 07/30/12 - 08/05/12

Time to use those sick days...

SF Chefs 2012
San Francisco, CA

It's a good thing I don't live in San Francisco, because events like this would highly motivate me to play hooky from work.  A lot.

SF Chefs is a week-long celebration of food, wine and spirits.  Venues throughout the city host lectures, classes and other culinary-related events, allowing participants to network with industry professionals, meet celebrity chefs, and even learn how to spot a great piece of pork at the butcher counter.

The largest draw is the Grand Tasting Tent right on Union Square, which hosts three consecutive days of all-you-can-scarf samples that put Costco to shame.  Get your tickets before they sell out or you'll be resigned to watching the crowds from the balcony of the Cheesecake Factory.  Sigh.

Skunk Train

Cue Foghat right about now.

Skunk Train
Fort Bragg / Willits, CA

With over 125 years of history in Mendocino County, the Skunk Train not only provides passengers with a dose of nostalgia, but also a very, very slow way to travel between Fort Bragg and Willits.

Choose between a variety of one-ways, round-trips and overnighters, as well as special events which may include barbecue meals or Easter egg hunts.  Chug along miles of tracks which snake through the redwoods and catch glimpses of deer and water fowl as you pass over bridges, pondering a much quieter time before iPads, cell phones and mp3 players.

The nickname "Skunk" was earned in the mid-1920s when the fumes created by the gasolines engines combined with fumes from crude oil burned to keep passengers warm.  Folks living along the tracks often stated they could smell the train before they could see it.  This is still a far more desirable warning than today's men with their Axe Body Spray.

Wine, Cheese & Bread Faire - 07/21/12 - 07/22/12

This is no time for sobriety!

Wine, Cheese & Bread Faire
Sacramento, CA

One of Sacramento's best-kept secrets (until now), the Old Sugar Mill is gaining popularity as a food and wine destination for those searching for good eats and drinks off the beaten path.  Home to a handful of wineries as well as a custom crush facility, the vino produced here is of such high quality that the mill is an ideal stop for people like me who are sometimes too lazy to trek it all the way to Napa.

The Wine, Cheese & Bread Faire is the "Ultimate Gourmet Wine & Food Shopping Experience", bringing together a myriad of chocolatiers, cheesemakers, local bakers and other vendors to provide scrumptious munchies to pair with your favorite wines. Your ticket includes winery tours, food and wine tastings, chef seminars and demos, and swag like a commemorative wine glass.

Not a fan of wine?  Your "designated driver" ticket will be discounted and you'll be provided with a free soda or water.  Plus, you'll get to wear one awesome wristband! Score.

Jelly Belly

This may be the happiest bus on Earth.

Jelly Belly
Fairfield, CA

Ah, Jelly Belly...an iconic product as well as the name of the condition you'll develop if you eat too many of these pint-sized treats.

A trip to this candy factory is a feast for the senses.  Once out of your car, you'll be hit with the scents of flavors being concocted that particular day (typically no more than ten) before even stepping foot inside.  Enter, and you'll discover a colorful wonderland of their signature jelly beans, luscious chocolates, and candy art that will dazzle the imagination.

Jelly Belly offers free factory tours; if you arrive early, you may be as lucky as I was to enjoy a practically private tour before throngs of field-trippin' grade-schoolers arrived.

Your tour guide will review the history of the company, explain its importance in Presidential culture and guide you through each phase of bean creation, providing samples at several stages.  Large windows allow you to witness all aspects of the factory, from raw ingredients on pallets to shipping.  Watch as machinery stamps Jelly Belly logos onto beans at the rate of 20,000 per minute, a necessity since they also produce 240 bags in the same amount of time.

At the conclusion of your tour, enjoy your complimentary Jelly Bellys and be sure to ask which two works of candy art they're forbidden from ever displaying again (I'll take them!).

Citrus Festival - 07/20/12 - 07/22/12

Pucker up!

Citrus Festival
Santa Paula, CA

The most fascinating aspect of this festival is the myriad of citrus-related cooking, eating and drinking contests, although any time a competition involves drinking, it should really be referred to as "chugging".  Am I right? Of course.

Been stashing away your coveted Lemon Marmalade recipe?  Looking to don that Sunkist orange costume you've been dying to wear...again?  Or, can you peel avocados faster than other famous avocado peelers whose names escape me at the moment?  Well, then step right up.

If you're not the type to go public with your lemonade chugging, er, drinking skills, you can still have fun learning about the local produce of Ventura County.  Did you know that you'd have to eat seven cups of Corn Flakes to equal the amount of fiber in one medium orange?  Well, now you do.

Moon Amtrak / Metrolink - 07/14/12

All aboard!

Moon Amtrak / Metrolink
Laguna Niguel, CA

I was once mooned at a tailgate party prior to a Jimmy Buffet concert.  Maybe that's how they pick up chicks in Columbus, Ohio...who knows.  I distinctly remember it was a father and son team.  The son was in fairly decent shape, his derriere was tan, and he seemed just happy to be there.  His father, on the other hand, was a hot, drunken mess, with a butt that was not only flabby, but had the added bonus of being hairy and pasty white.

Unfortunately, I will never be able to get that image out of my head (probably because I took a photo of it).

Allow me to introduce you to an event that may scar you for life as well: Moon Amtrak (and Metrolink).

Once a year, individuals participate in roughly 16 hours of enthusiastic mooning action.  The curious come to witness this crazy event which actually occurs without any official organizers or sponsors.  The Orange County Sheriff's Department keeps the peace.

Ride Amtrak or Metrolink towards the Mugs Away Saloon in Laguna Niguel.  Those who are nuts for butts will be lining up along the chain link fence near the tracks.

While decorating butts is allowed, mooners are discouraged from consuming alcohol or urinating in public during this event.  I mean, come on, people.  This is a classy event, okay?

California State Fair - 07/12/12 - 07/29/12

Sometimes, life presents difficult decisions.

California State Fair
Sacramento, CA

The food!  The exhibits!  The people watching!  The food!  The concerts!  The food!

Guess what my favorite part of the fair is?

I'm not knocking the people watching which, for Sacramento, is top-notch.  I love seeing elderly couples, hand-in-hand, sharing a big-ass waffle cone; wide-eyed kids who've never seen a ferris wheel;  "hypnotized" individuals barking like dogs.  It's great!  On the other hand, I can do without some sectors of the population: unsupervised toddlers wielding large, sticky lollipops; women in the ladies room who shake out their sopping wet hands onto you instead of grabbing paper towels; and parents with kids on disturbing leashes.

The concert offering can run the gamut from the 1950s to today.  There's at least one show I've got to see each year.  Whether it's Rick Springfield, M.C. Hammer, Jeffrey Osbourne or Weird Al Yankovic, the choices can't be beaten.  By the way, I think I just showed my age.

But oh, the food...this is what brings me back year after year.  Whatever they're dipping in batter and plunging into recycled oil this year, I've got to have it!  For years, my choices were limited to corn dogs and funnel cakes: booooooring.  Today, that repertoire has expanded to cheesecake, Moon Pies, and even sandwiches using donuts as buns.  Booyah.

So grab something fried, kindly ask if you can share a table if needed (emphasis on the word "kindly"), and relieve yourself before the concert so you'll avoid impeding my view of .38 Special in the middle of "Caught Up In You".  Thanks in advance!

Oakdale Cheese & Specialties

The perfect picnic basket starts here!

Oakdale Cheese & Specialties
Oakdale, CA

California certainly has no shortage of cheese factories; they are everywhere.  Most follow a typical blueprint: a storefront selling cheese, baked goods and a few deli items, oftentimes with a counter lined with plastic domes covering plates of sample cubes speared with toothpicks.

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Once in a while, you find a gem.  Oakdale Cheese & Specialties is one of those gems.  The Buck family has been in the cheesemaking business for four generations, with no signs of stopping.  In fact, Walter Buck can still be found in the factory each day well before sunrise, pumping milk, cutting curds and filling molds.  That wasn't meant to sound dirty, by the way.

A variety of artisanal cheeses and spreads can be enjoyed on a few acres that seem worlds away from the nearby highway.  Pick up some meats and olives from their store, add some fruit from the produce stand, then check out the farm animals and koi ponds as you sink your teeth into some Cheesecake Brownies "to die for" (according to customers).  I'm sold!